What Happy Couples Know - Week 1 Recap
"...walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us..." Ephesians 5:2
For the four Sundays in February, we are following a sermon series titled, "What Happy Couples Know," by Andy Stanley, the pastor of North Point Community Church in Alpharetta, GA. Stanley’s sermons teach on healthy behaviors to apply in relationships, particularly marriages, that will allow for positive growth and development between partners by following Christ’s model for love.
Here is the link to the teaching from week one if you missed our gathering this past Sunday or would like to go back to re-watch or listen.
General Notes from Week One
For the four Sundays in February, we are following a sermon series titled, "What Happy Couples Know," by Andy Stanley, the pastor of North Point Community Church in Alpharetta, GA. Stanley’s sermons teach on healthy behaviors to apply in relationships, particularly marriages, that will allow for positive growth and development between partners by following Christ’s model for love.
Here is the link to the teaching from week one if you missed our gathering this past Sunday or would like to go back to re-watch or listen.
General Notes from Week One
- We all enter relationships with a box of hopes, dreams, and desires. Plans for money, housing, children, conflict resolution, etc. - we all have an ideal image of what we want our lives to look and be like. These dreams come from positive past experiences we're looking to recreate or even negative ones we hope to avoid.
- Many times in relationships, we hand our boxes to our partners and inadvertently put a feeling of obligation on them to make all of our dreams and desires come true. What were once hopes for the future now feel like expectations to our significant others.
- Four possible outcomes arise out of the tension that is born when the "I's" in a relationship collide - you lose, you win, you conform, or you compromise. Even if you win, you do so at the expense of convincing, convicting, coercing, and/or controlling your partner. Regardless, the "we" in the relationship will always lose when I's collide.
- Creating relationships based on dream fulfillment and obligation breeds low trust between partners, thus creating low intimacy. You can't truly love someone you don't trust; and you can't fully trust someone when you feel like you owe them something or vice versa.
- Knowingly or inadvertently pushing our desires onto our partners creates a debt/debtor relationship. You cannot fully love someone who owes you something or appreciate anything they have to give if it's something you expect or feel you are owed. This is not what God intended for our relationships and it is certainly not how He loves us. “...As I have loved you, so you must love one another," John 13:34.
- The secret that happy couples know? Happy couples know that they owe each other everything, but are owed nothing in return. This may not make sense, but think about it. What does your partner owe you? Nothing.
- When couples begin to apply this principle and love in the way of Christ, relationships begin to look like a submission competition, a race to the back of the line. Few try it because it sounds miserable, but those who do enjoy it. It's what happy couples know.
Some "thought homework" as we head into the next gathering:
- What's in your box? What are your hopes, dreams, and desires?
- Are you expecting someone to carry around your box for you? Have you handed your box off to someone else? Is someone carrying the extra weight of your desires and expectations, a weight they weren't designed to carry?
Praise & Worship
"Thrive" by Casting Crowns
REMINDERS!
- There will be no midweek meal this week due to the book club meeting
- We will meet again at the Srirams' home next week, 02.11.18.
- Book club will be meeting Feb. 7th. Click here for more information.
With love,
Taylor